You know what? I really don’t miss this.

I had my first full cheat day since I started my journey in May. I have had cheat meals, but only meals and nothing that put me over maintenance. I gave myself permission to just let go today, for this one day. I made breakfast burritos, had mimosas, then snacked on a cheese board. I estimated my intake today at about 2300 calories, which is about 1000+ calories over what I usually eat (my range is 1200-1400).

It was a little fun, the breakfast burritos were amazing and cooking without having to worry about every calorie was nice… But after that, my enjoyment just went down throughout the day. My stomach is in so much distress right now. I feel paunchy and gross. I went on a walk, which helped a little, but wouldn’t be able to manage much more without making myself sick. I likely ate as much if not less than I was eating pre weight loss, and I cannot believe I used to live like that.

But I am glad I did this, because it served as a learning tool. I don’t want to feel like this. I want to feel good all the time, which just isn’t possible when you eat too much. I am actually really looking forward to a light day tomorrow, at the bottom of my range, with a good cardio workout (and maybe a bonus lunchtime walk). New year’s will involve hiking, not drinking – not because I don’t know how to have a good time but because my definition of a good time means that I feel my best. I probably won’t do another cheat day again – jut a meal here and there. This is a lifestyle change, and my body is telling me that it likes the changes I have made and doesn’t want to go back.

Edit: Thanks for the gold stranger! I will keep on keeping on, I promise!

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