My SO wants my weight loss to be about him
I’m not sure what to do.
Yesterday, my SO and I went on a date and I was being good with my calories. We split a burger and I still was only at 900 calories for the day.
We were going to cut our date a little short and go meet up with a mutual friend for a beer. Friend would drink a beer, my SO decided he didn’t want to drink (he’s also losing, but he’s more strict than me), and I decided I wanted a beer that would fit in my calories budget. I wasn’t planning on drinking before when our plan was to have a longer date. I mentioned I changed my mind to my SO and he got pretty angry with me and the night evolved into a huge fight.
Anyways, around midnight we made up for the most part, but he told me he wants my weight loss to be about him. He doesn’t feel attracted to me (edit: he woke up and told me he meant he wants to feel more attracted to me. Not that he finds me unattractive) and wants me to be as strict as he is. He says he doesn’t feel special and that he said a bunch of derogatory things to me yesterday because I ‘showed that I had no willpower’.
Guys, I don’t want all of my weight loss to be all about him. I don’t want to feel this terrible about myself. I fear I’ll end up in the dangerous restriction zone and I don’t want that. I need support.
Edit: he told me he meant that he want to be more attracted to me
Edit 2: apparently this was a case very poor communication. After he woke up, we talked a bit. He got kinda mad last night when I changed my mind about drinking because I didn’t tell him the reason behind it (long, stressful week). I only told him I had changed my mind and wanted a beer. He thought I meant that I wanted to get shitfaced, not have one. He felt betrayed and didn’t handle it well. The rest of the night escalated and we both have things we need to work on (communication is a big one).